My partner wants to use toys in the bedroom. Am I not good enough?

Some people feel inadequate when their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/etc wants to start using toys, but there's really nothing to worry about. Adding toys to your relationship should make you happy, not anxious.


  • My girlfriend wants to use a vibrator during sex. Is my penis not big enough to pleasure her?
  • My husband wants me to use a prostate massager on him. Is my pussy not tight enough for him anymore?

Absolutely Not! Not at all. If you weren’t good enough, they’d probably leave you, and go use a toy by themselves. The fact that they want to use a toy with you means they really like you and want to make your sex life as awesome as possible.

A sex toy is a bonus, not a crutch to your fucking.
- Erika Moen

While it may feel really good, some women can’t, or have a difficult time reaching orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. Adding a little vibration to the clitoris can be what sends her over the top. And since your genitals are in the neighborhood, you’ll likely get some good vibes headed your way, too.

The same idea applies to prostate massagers and cock rings. Their only function is to increase pleasure, and make orgasms more intense. They don’t make you obsolete, they help both of you have a better time. The important thing is that you’re using the toy together.

If you’re reading this because your are the partner interested in using toys in your relationship, but you’re worried about hurting their feelings, just give it a shot. In all likelihood, they’ll probably be on board with minimal convincing. If they don’t respond positively, explain to them the point of this article, or maybe even ask them to read it. Just make sure they know that you care about them, and you don’t need toys to be happy in your relationship.

Good luck, and happy fucking!